Getting trapped in the drama of our lives blinds us from reality and seeing the simplicity in the moment. As I'm writing this up on the rooftop deck of my friend's apartment complex, I'm amazed at the sweetness of your day (pictures included). To my right is Lake Michigan and the sandy shore line that hugs it. Before me, is the view of John Hancock and the Magnificent Mile. A carpet of green trees and bright rooftops lay below. An orange sunny sky looms above. A bright bikini clad young woman lies to my right, sunning on a dark wrought iron chaise three chairs over. I possibly could observe easy it would be to be so trapped in the events of my entire life that even the serenity and wonderment of such views can be overshadowed by drama's stories, grieves and hurts.Dramacool
The difficult and painful events that have occurred in our past and our fears about the near future blurs our vision and keeps us stuck in a quagmire of deceit. So trapped are we in the drama of our lives that individuals sometimes fail to notice how blue is the sky or green will be the trees approximately white is the bikini. Our anatomies might physically be in the "here and now" but our minds definitely are not.
Drama binds us to days gone by and holds our future captive. We tend to trust our responses to recent events are derived from present feelings when in reality they represent unfinished, unresolved and uncompleted emotions. We often don't observe that drama keeps us in the problem of days gone by in our present. Kept restricted to our dramas, we never heal and we never grow. What we could learn from new experiences never present themselves because we dilute the lesson with drama.
A dilemma is really a deep and very personal story of what the "event" meant to us. It is definitely an engineered story of the "what is" by giving the "what is" a personal meaning. A good example: imagine you're driving down the expressway at a safe speed. Someone in a sports vehicle races behind you, quickly swerves to your lane and manages to cut you off before driving away. The truth of "what is" is that somebody is speeding and quickly swerves into your lane. The non-public story or drama that you simply created at the time can be "What a jackass! He must think I'm driving too slow and that I'm not just a adequate driver. Now we take the event personally. Another reality: your partner walks far from the marriage. Your drama is: "I'm unworthy of love" or "I can't trust anybody anymore, I will just get hurt again if I remarry."
How we could "grow" far from drama is to recognize the difference between what is reality and what is drama. The truth is just an event separate from any emotions (I got fired from my job / I acquired divorced). Drama is our personal story, the reason, we make-up of how the event affects us and what it way to our lives (My boss is really a real jackass / I'm unlovable). We always want to generate meaning in everything that takes place in our lives. Healing and growing starts by understanding the difference between what is reality and what is fiction and then just accepting the event as it is (I no more have a job) with no drama.
I understand easier said then done. Often times it's in the story and the non-public meaning behind it that produces life interesting but once the story repeats itself time and time again in a constant cycle, the event never dies. It consistently repeats itself in similar situations even with years of the first occurrence; old feelings of hurt are resurrected. (I text her but she didn't text back. She must not like me and anyone who doesn't text me right me right away later on should also mean they don't love me as well. Love blows!). Drama doesn't allow us to grow into mature experienced adults rather we remain emotionally stagnant at age it's occurrence.
The dramas in our lives are produced by made-up untrue beliefs while denial shrouds the real issues. We get to awaken from the drama whenever we accept the truth that we've the ultimate capacity to turnaround our lives. When we have the ability to create negative thoughts and emotions then we are also able to produce a positive spin on a single event. Change thinking and emotions into something positive that will empower us and inspire others and in turn we get to restore control in our lives. By accepting the event as what it's will free us from the emotional bond as it demonstrates that only our jobs or relationships are ending and not our lives. This can be achieved by writing out a listing of what is happening without attaching the emotions connected with it. In the event of losing employment your list might include:
1. I have already been fired
2. I no more have employment
3. I must find a new job
4. I have no income
5. I have little savings
After reading over your notes and removing all the drama or unworthiness, fear, blame and guilt can disappear. The important points have presented itself in ways that you could address each issue to generate solutions that you can now handle and benefit from. Acceptance will enable you to detach from the drama so you will be able to see your lifetime separate from the emotions as fear and any negativity is washed away. You feel an outside observer in the events letting you effectively, clearly and without the judgments control of your reactions and your life.
In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, acceptance is among the big creeds that allow its members to better handle their lives. Inside it, it states: "Acceptance is the clear answer to all or any my problems today. When I'm disturbed, it is really because I find some person, place or thing, or situation -some fact of my life- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that individual, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it's supposed to be only at that moment."
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